Hello everyone. I am Pepe the Frog. I am green, lonely, and lost. I come from a distant planet called Moonbase Alpha where frogs have big eyes. Did I forget to mention that I am lonely? I have a lot of friends, except the times when they don’t invite me to eat flies in the riverbanks. I would like Netflix, but I’m just a frog. Therefore I don’t have credit approval to obtain said credit card to purchase Netflix. I am Pepe the Frog. Be my friend.
Politics. I love politics. I believe that all frogs should have free access to flies. As compared to my primary opponent, Bull Frog Trump, I am the better shade of green. The kind of green you love to smell in the morning. With my win, I would want to qualify for a credit card so I could finally purchase Netflix. Vote for me. Feel the Toad.
I believe I am well qualified. I inspired my dear friend, Adam McConnelly, to venture off into space. He is a well qualified physicist and I know he will do good. I sent him on a mission: titled Flies R US in order to do some “NASA” stuff. However, in reality I really wanted him to see if our planet has an island shaped like a fly. I would’ve told him to come back from the failed mission; but he had no Netflix account. Did I forget to mention that I love flies.
I have a dear friend of mine, Creepsteevo Swankavitch, as I helped him get with the ladies. He was too shy to even try to talk to women; however not only I told him the many stories of my past experience with women (and men), but also gave him a few pointers to reach for his goal. I inspired him to become a confident person. I then asked for his Netflix password. He said no. He’s now a confident man with a Netflix account.
Lastly, I have one person who can tell me I’m well qualified for your vote, Lia. Fun fact, she is actually a twin. Basically, I was her guidance when her twin sister (a more nicer one) was abducted from another planet and was traced here. Now, for a decent frog, I accompanied her to help find her other half. I can tell you right now she is VERY powerful. So if she tells you I am a trustworthy frog who wants some Netflix, I advise you to believe her. Although she is a sweety, she does not have Netflix.
I am here to tell you folks that I am Pepe Sanders. Green, lonely, and Netflix-less. Vote for me.